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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Procrastination at its finest

I shouldn't really be doing this right now, I have an exam tomorrow. But I just got distracted for a bit and started reading my old posts; hence the title. But I feel it's a good time to post an update.

Living on my own has fit me so well. Of course, there's still issues to iron out, but the place that I'm working at now (I started working the midnight shift around May, of course only for the $$$ extra) now allows me to, instead of just covering debts, make room for the improvements to my place or myself that I've always looked forward to - one of these, for example is, believe it or not, dental work. They've been yucky all my life, that is something that I had overlooked so far! But it's now on the way, probably getting braces by the end of the year. Yes, I'll get braces being 21, better late than never, right? It's really not late at all, the challenge will just be covering all the costs myself (and it can be quite expensive).

My old posts, it's funny - you can tell the way they're written is vastly different from the way I type now. I've never considered myself a grammar master, but still, there's just something that tells you how I've been growing up. But all of these ideas, they're still with me - perhaps I would phrase or put them in a different way, but the essence is there and it's still something I share with my old self.

That tattoo that I had mentioned that I was going to get? I did. It's in my right arm, a small osu! hitcircle right below my wrist and that's it. It's fun, people often theorize what it's about and ask me why I decided to tattoo it. They often think it's a kind of marble, pool ball or because I'm #1 (ha, although I did get to be the #1 in Mexico around 2008, a long time ago now). I also think it might be a bit ironic how osu! means so much to me, but I'm not active in the community and barely map anymore. Don't get me wrong, it still means a lot and I still have that wish to map as many songs as I possibly can (I did start a new WiP the other day, although that shouldn't be surprising news) - it's just that, time, time, time. But osu! still is and will always be one of the most important things for me.

I am too lazy to post a photo of it, but if you like you can look me up on facebook.com/genshaze as sharing my real identity online isn't weird for me at all now. Although... there's a chance I haven't posted it there either, or perhaps the restrictions wouldn't allow you to browse my old-ass and embarrassing photos. I'm not sure! I barely use it, don't be offended if you add me as a friend but aren't able to recognize you, or take a bazillion years to add you back, but you can send me a message at any time.

So I'll still be kicking around. Maybe I'll get to post something more elaborate later on, on my Beatmap Design blog? Man, the last post was on 2014, two years ago now.
Something that I did realize these days is that perhaps my passion for beatmapping had gone out of sight, but that's not the plan in any way - I'm trying to get back on track. The challenge is still incorporating my hobby within my free time, I think mostly having the discipline needed to achieve these goals, but in no way it has become impossible - if anything, it just becomes more achievable as time passes. Or at least, I like to believe that. This realization has come along with many other things as well, for example other aspirations in life, it just confirms that you never stop learning. And maybe I'll also share my other aspirations in life in another post.

Oh, and small mention to Music Hood's death and sacrifice for all of us. RIP in peace. :( The Facebook page has also been taken down because everyone hates me. But you can still find the archive of the remnants here.
If you didn't know what that was, it was just a blog that I had where I shared download links for music albums. The main purpose, though, was just to have a backup of the rare album finds I've been able to get on the internet. It is now also in the back of my mind to somehow revive it and keep sharing music, but that's definitely going to take a couple of months or maybe even years.

Anyhow. Let's keep giving our best all of us!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Giddy

Suffice it to say that it has been way too much time since my last post. As always - you know how it goes. It has recently been my birthday and I just started spring break, so I have two full weeks to relax and do whatever I want, relatively.

Although I have become much more keen about the personal life details I reveal about myself, there is something I would like to share. Starting this year, I have finally managed to get my own space and will start living a completely independent lifestyle starting April - well, I have been living away from my parents for one year now but now I won't owe anything to anyone, as I will be paying the whole thing myself, and time will be completely mine. Joy! That is one of the many aspirations that I wanted to achieve so it's something I can check off that list now. Still many other things to work on.

Time has gone by real fast and it's hard to keep up at times - more so when you're just halfway through your engineering studies I'd say, although I'm only carrying a small amount of subjects and material that I should by semester (just about half, actually), so it's nowhere near as heavy as it should be. I still go crazy at times, more so thinking that I haven't even touched osu! at all - sometimes I arrive home and I'm so tired that I just drop on the bed and fall asleep. Still, I don't regret anything.

Even then, lately I feel like I haven't taken full advantage of my time, as I still doze off and distract myself with other things - you know, I'm not a robot, so no guilt. What I've been doing most lately is listen to music - I mean sure, it's always been something I loved, but lately it's been like I suspend my activities entirely and just listen. I've been paying so much attention to it... and I enjoy so much all the song variety I can listen to and enjoy, I often just skip from song to song and keep doing that for hours. Honestly, I can't think of how a regular day at work would be if I didn't have my earphones with me - and even then I only find myself I circle around the same songs, most regularly. Doesn't mean that I don't expand my tastes, perhaps maybe not as much as other people do - used to think that having 800 songs on the cellphone was plenty couple years back, now I can't get enough by having 1743 and counting.

osu! has always been on the back of my mind, but lately I feel like I've lost touch. It doesn't mean that I actually have, I'm sure it's just a matter of polishing up my technique and getting my hands dirty again - as I keep listening to many more different songs I just keep imagining how the beatmaps would turn out, so I repeat, that will ALWAYS be there, no doubt. In fact, I'm planning to get myself a small, simple osu! tattoo, just to show how it has marked my life forever and will always be a part of me.

As for the other things such as TV shows, lately I've found that I can't stand sitting still for hours watching something - I don't mean to discredit visual arts and cinema, there is of course amazing material out there, and I've found it's just me - but there are so many other productive things I could do with that time. Perhaps it's the way my brain is shaping up after being used to focus on other things all the time - the only activity like that I allow to myself is listening to music, which I've already described above. For all other things like watching movies I just prefer to work on my blog, study, exercise, meditate, clean up or whatever other activity you can think of. It's interesting, as I had never thought that it'd turn out like this, but I hope it stays this way. Perhaps I'll write a post about my perspective on this in the future.


Anyway, time to doze off again and focus on other things. May this spring break be full of productive activities!