Saturday, September 27, 2014

Life update? Does that even exist anymore?

So it's been some time. Yes, I know, that's what I always say. But well... there's been so much going on., it's becoming a cliché, isn't it. That's what I've been saying for the last two years. This is just another of those moments where I stop for a second to write something.

Oh brother, it's been chaos. I just came home from answering a difficult exam from a difficult subject... talking about school, obviously. My life's been consumed by school and work issues.

Yeah, that's right, work issues. This semester I applied for a job and I was hired. But then they fired me, like two weeks ago, and I haven't applied for another job since then. Long story short, they canceled the divison or 'campaign' I was working for, so everyone was suddenly unemployed, including me of course.
Well... I still need to get a job. I plan on doing that, earning money and start living by myself; if possible, move out before this year ends. It's not easy, I know, but the way I look at things, that's something I must do, because of many life situations I'm living right now. It might be a bit too ambitious but I know I can do it.

So... yes, I know. It's going to be a disaster, a massacre, and hell, all at the same time (although that might be exaggerating a little...), so no time for games. Besides everything else, various friends have also kept me away from my computer because they have social reunions and whatnot. It's not like they're forcing me, I like to hang around with them; after all, it's a nice way to enjoy my free time, but... yeah.

I miss mapping so much.

Lately, I haven't had much time to spend in osu!, although I have logged in a few times to play a bit of mania. Nothing competitive though, just to relax a little. So I haven't mapped a single thing since... several months. Then yet, even though there are infinite songs I could map, lately I've been feeling like... all the other songs are just average. Not Vietnam, not Rap God, no 808 Track (which are my most recent favorite maps by me), everything else is average, and I'm not going to surpass them. But I do have some pieces I've been working on and would like to release. I guess it's normal to feel like you want to keep improving more and more, but I know every map and song are unique in their own way, so I'll keep working on them... whenever I have time.
It's not like I've forgotten how to map, or lost the inspiration; we all know that's never going to happen. But you see, working while studying engineering is heavy enough; add to that several social activities plus many life issues, and you have what I've been doing for the last three months. Yay.

It's not like I'm complaining. Sure, it's heavy to carry along all those things, so I can't consider any online presence right now, but everything I'm doing is to build something better in the future. And living alone is going to be so awesome. Not easy, but awesome. ('Alone' is a relative term; I'm probably going to share with someone else).

Man, I hadn't realized I missed writing here so much. These minutes were worth my time. I'm not exactly sure of what I just wrote, but let's just publish it like this and roll along.