Sunday, October 7, 2012

For those who haven't noticed... I resigned to the BAT.

Yeah, I decided to move to osu! alumni. In other words, quit the BAT.

Not permanently though... I hope.

This sunday's been pretty light this time around (no homework yay), so I'm taking the chance to write something. Last time I wrote was on August, and I've always said I need to update this thing more often. Now then...

osu! has been one of the greatest things that have ever happened to me. It made me realize my love for music, and it's definitely the best simulator out there. I'll never forget osu! in my life.
Ever since I started playing and mapping, I wanted to help in some way, and of course, back then in 2008 it was a mere dream to enter the BAT and be one of those guys "from the other side". I didn't want to enter to be an authority figure or anything, my only real desire was to return the huge favor the BAT back then did to me.

Stuff happened, I learned english, I talked, I kept talking, I became one of the first MATs, and later I became BAT. I'm not sure how I did that now, to be honest. I used to use up all my time on osu! before. So then, I started to rank maps and make my dream real.

Now though... it's just lack of time, really. I wish I could keep going on, but my motivation and my thoughts keep moving somewhere else. Lately I've been focusing 100% on school, because I was awarded a scholarship for... umm... how do you say it in english? High average scores? Well, that.
I've always been good at exams and such, but what really consumes my time is homework. To get a high average score, one needs, besides getting good scores, deliver all homework correctly. If I get an average below 90 this semester, I'll lose my scholarship, which means I'll lose money, which means I don't want to. All these scholarships have been a huge help, and I probably wouldn't be studying right now if it weren't for them.

Why does homework even exist anyway? I learn everything I learn because I'm at class, not because I keep writing and tiring my hand out. I'm not against a little bit of rechecking, and I like knowledge, but some assignments are just... argh. I don't see how homework benefits me, specially if I end up copying it almost anytime. Not that I always do that, but... eheh, you know. Point is, there is little to no benefit from doing homework. If I needed to study, I'd study by my own accord, because I already know how to take care of myself. Don't need anybody forcing me to do something.

So then, yes. My high school has become more strict this semester. I was hoping I'd have a chance to return to the marvelous osu! world, but it doesn't seem likely. Not this semester, or the next one. It just felt appropriate I resign from the team, and let someone else take my place in the meantime.
I still wish I could help. I don't feel like I helped enough as a BAT, and I could have done more when I was active. This is why I still have the idea I'll return someday. I'll ask to come back once I feel 100% secure I can stay.

It's not only that though; another reason why I love osu! is because of mapping. Making me realize my love for music also made me realize how fun and beautiful mapping the true feeling of your favorite songs can be. As long as osu! exists, I will keep mapping.
Perhaps outsiders think I've completely forgotten about osu!, but as I get the chance I keep mapping offline difficulties. My offline WiP count has been increasing; it's up to 200 now. I'm also nearing the completion of another offline difficulty. I may be slow, but I won't stop, that's for sure.
Of course, eventually, I'd like to release full mapsets and such so people can play them too, I feel bad keeping all the fun for myself, haha.

So, yes... I'll just leave the post... for now. Who knows until when, but someday I'll return, full speed. I'll take this time to focus on school and other projects, so I can handle myself better until then.

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