My brother took a stab tonight to get it installed, since it couldn't have been as simple as you may think; the disc drive isn't working properly for DVD's anymore and for some reason the USB boot thing didn't appear in the BIOS. Some magic happened and he put it to work.
Of course, I wasn't sure if this was a good idea given this computer's quality and status, but the computer doesn't seem to struggle as much as I thought it would. Of course, I have yet to move all of my files to the internal disk... and yet, although some quirks from the previous installation disappeared (and scrolling overall is smoother...?), I still have the crappy hardware that makes me wish for a new computer, so it doesn't feel as good. Even worse, I cannot play any of the Windows games because they're Hardware-accelerated. Goddamn, I want to play solitaire at a decent speed; not to mention all of my emulators don't run at the same speed.
I am still at the edge of reverting to normal Windows XP. I just think it doesn't fit Billy at the moment. That, or now I need a new computer more than ever.
...yes, my computer's name is Billy.